


The Christmas Party

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Filk, Gen, Poetry, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-07
Updated: 1999-05-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 15:27:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11129589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: A look at OFM during the 27ths x-mas party.





	The Christmas Party

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

  
Ben's Body Bear: Sweet Dreams


# 
    
    
     The Christmas Party
    
    
    
     by Cheryl Ross
    
    
    
     Rated G
    
    
    
     Humour Poetry
    
    
    
     All standard disclaimers apply.
    

# 
    
    
    The Christmas Party
    
    
    
     Twas the night before Christmas
    
    
    
     and all through the station
    
    
    
     the cops were havin' a huge celebration.
    
    
    
     Their holsters were slung
    
    
    
     on their desks without care
    
    
    
     and even Lt. Welsh had a jubilant air.
    
    
    
     Elaine left her computer completely unmanned
    
    
    
     as she searched for the Mountie
    
    
    
     with mistletoe in her hand..
    
    
    
     With Frannie in her mini-skirt
    
    
    
     and Benton in his hat
    
    
    
     she was trying to manoeuvre him into the back.
    
    
    
     That glint in her eye
    
    
    
     that tilt to her head
    
    
    
     soon gave him to know
    
    
    
     he had something to dread.
    
    
    
     Much redder than holly
    
    
    
     his cheeks they became
    
    
    
     and he stuttered and stammered
    
    
    
     and called out Ray's name.
    
    
    
     When in through the doorway
    
    
    
     who should appear
    
    
    
     but Inspector Meg Thatcher
    
    
    
     decked in red Mountie gear.
    
    
    
     She wore an evil expression
    
    
    
     and a mean icy glare
    
    
    
     that told little Frannie
    
    
    
     she'd better beware.
    
    
    
     But tucked in Ben's pocket
    
    
    
     was a card from Peoria
    
    
    
     that read "Merry Christmas,
    
    
    
     love and bullets... Victoria".
    
    
    
     And Ray of course
    
    
    
     was a right jolly sight
    
    
    
     in reds and greens
    
    
    
     and oranges so bright.
    
    
    
     He was dressed in Armani
    
    
    
     from his head to his shoe
    
    
    
     and he looked like the cover
    
    
    
     of December's GQ.
    
    
    
     He'd had too much punch
    
    
    
     and his eyes were all screwy
    
    
    
     in a tragic mistake
    
    
    
     he made a pass at Jack Huey.
    
    
    
     When in came a call
    
    
    
     Ray's Mom's on the phone
    
    
    
     Christmas dinner is ready
    
    
    
     You'd better get home.
    
    
    
     So away to the Riv
    
    
    
     they flew like a flash
    
    
    
     Ray leaping in
    
    
    
     hit his head on the dash.
    
    
    
     More vile than a sailor's
    
    
    
     his curse words they came
    
    
    
     while Ben shook his head
    
    
    
     and whispered, "For shame".
    
    
    
     But I heard them exclaim
    
    
    
     'ere they drove out of sight
    
    
    
     "Thank you kindly to all
    
    
    
     and to all a good night".
    
    
    
     By Cheryl Ross
    
    
    
     Comments Welcome 
    


* * *



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